Not a loser anymore!!!

I took a break for 6 months from my busy software life to venture into something else. And what did I find in that break..??

A lot of self-introspection went in during this period.

I tried to get into college teaching line. But they wanted either a full time MBA or a ME. I had done my MBA through correspondence. So, did not qualify for the college teaching posts.

Then I thought of going in as a school teacher. With all due respects to all the teachers out there, somehow the mindset of my partner did not let me to do this. He feels I am more smarter and more suited for a better job than as a school teacher. I had to respect his feelings and so started to look out to do something else.

Then thought of starting a day-care center with my friend. But my friend met with an unfortunate incident and was in need of some financial commitment and so dropped this idea as well.

In this meantime, my mind has started to wander...started to think of all stupid kind of feelings that may be I am not fit for anything. May be I am loser...I couldn't sit idle at home. Of course I have a kid who is in 4th grade. I take care of her once she is back from school. But I am not a kind of person who can only think of her without doing anything in life. With a big salute to all home makers, I feel I am not that kind of person. Neither will my mindset agree to sit idle nor will I be able to ...

I felt I made a mistake now.. I thought I took this break without giving any insight to my future.
That's when I got this beautiful pep talk from my partner. He said its ok to make mistakes and he would fully support me to do whatever I want, even if that meant I need to go to a school as a teacher.

When your spouse says, "I don't like this but still if that gives you happiness, please go ahead", I wonder how many wives will pursue it. At least I wouldn't. So, becoming a school teacher was ruled out.
But he has clearly and firmly said he would support me in anything, as long as that thing gives me happiness and keeps my mind occupied. So, I thought... I thought a lot...a lot...!!!
Then inferred that I am someone who needs some kind of self-dignity and self-esteem and would also do something which I am an expert in...So, it stuck the best thing to do is to get back to software industry itself. And so started giving interviews. I gave one and failed. I gave another and failed in that too...and it went on like this. Totally I had failed in 5 interviews.
Me being a bold, confident, smart and always an outstanding worker, failed in simple company interviews. Infact, my past ratings in my earlier organizations were no less than excellent.
What's wrong with me? Where am I making the mistake?
That's when I met my brother and had a discussion on everything that is going on in my mind. He said a simple thing... he said you are now agitated. Stop taking interviews. Do something else which is totally non-software related.. may be a painting, or some craft work.

My MIL was very good at knitting, stitching, crocheting, etc and also in spirituality. So, I started learning Narayaneeyam from her. She was an expert in that and it gave me a lot of mental peace, lot of self-happiness and infact, I could talk to the God. I could hear HIM reply back to my questions. It was an awesome feeling and I was quite sincere enough and managed to learn 4 sadakams from her.
Then she said why don't try your hand at painting as well. I had actually done glass painting during my college days. So, we went to a shop to buy the materials for that. Really Thanking God to make us go to this shop. There we met a lady who had bought a large quantity of wools. When enquired, we got to know that its for a World Record Guinness attempt to do the largest crochet blanket using wool.
I pushed my MIL to join for that as she is an adept in it. She agreed and infact she pushed me also to learn and give an attempt. The push worked...I learnt it too and all of a sudden life became interesting and I felt like I want to live. The very same week, I gave interviews to two companies and I cracked it. Got offers from both the companies.
So here I am now in a New company with a new job and a new feeling and a new hobby!!

Lot more to do in this beautifully scripted life..

I need to make my daughter realize what life has in store for all of us...Help her in achieving her dream to come true.. whatever may be that dream... I need to grow to high ladders in my career.... and be a great support to my husband in whatever he wants to achieve... Learn Narayaneeyam completely from my MIL... she is also interested in doing lot of small crochet works and I need to help her in that as well....

I am definitely not a loser in life and life has got lot many happiness left for me. Out I go with a mind full of eagerness to achieve more in life...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to all those who supported me during this period....